Perfect Madness!

...or at least not until the afternoon. I started my day well, but end with bad mood since lot of problems occured during the day. Not to say that I'm being too weak or resistence about the works or the problems; I know it's my obligation, and I know it's the risk of being on my position. But somehow I felt bitter than before when facing angers and protests from my production team, or my Techno Commercial team.

Maybe I'm depressed.

Or maybe I'm only over-sensitive since I'm having my period.

@___________@;;

Oh, well, whatever the cause is not a problem then~

For my own surprise, I feel much better this morning. Last night I worked out quite hard, and felt tired after it. But in the morning, I feel more refresh and also more relax. I even start wondering what I will do this weekend, what I will do in the end of this year, should I write down some resolutions, when will I go for hunting some pictures.... It's like I can do whatever I want without any doubt. And I know it's true.. :D

And to start my day, I will put a very unimportant picture here : my desk at the office!



Yup, that's my hand right there... XD

So, have a nice day everyone! :D

Taken from chan4yasu :

1) Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
green I guess....well, actually I have had a crush to blue, but it has changed... :P

2) Your first initial?
N

3) Your month of birth?
June

4) Which color do you like more, black or white?
Another color? black then...

5) Name of a person of the same gender as yours.
Kiki

6) Your favorite number?
3, the number of my parent's children... :P

7) Do you like California or Florida more?
ehm...maybe....California?

8) Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
Lake

9) Write down a wish. (A realistic one).
Have my own bookstore! :D

============================================

( The explanation.... )

....and that made me really tired. I mean, really tired. I barely had time to write anything in my blog. Or worse, I didn't even have an idea to be written down. The first thing that came to my mind everytime I went home from office is taking a good rest! As an addition, I must admit that beside tired physically by work, I was also tired mentally. There is something that disturbs my mind, and I can't manage it well. It's still related to work, though (somehow I start to think that I AM a bit workaholic... X3).

Anyway, putting that aside, lately I've had a big crush in photography. I guess it all started when my sister learned photography several months ago. At first I did not pay attention too much on it, but when I saw several pictures that she had taken, I just fell in love with it.

Lucky for me, my dad lend me his camera (yippieee... :P), and I can't wait to start learning good photography.

Yeah! *gathering new spirit*

.......my sister visited me in my rent-home. That surprised me a bit since I thought she would be bored going to Cikarang. As a hot and small city, there's nothing much you can see here. But she came anyway, and I found out why : to watch cable~ XD

Okay, I lied ~ :P

We actually planned to shop together to a mall in a West Bekasi, about half an hour from Cikarang. So we went there eventually, and decided to also watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Anyone has seen it? To be honest, I don't really like it. I can't get good plot, the character are not interesting (except for the can-do-anything reporter. He's kinda funny :P), and there's no specific message that can be absorbed from there. Hm. So much for expectation for that movie, and yet I can't get anything good.

But, hey, the important thing is, I get a new shoes! XDDD



Kinda cute eh? :P

Or at least, I try to~ XD

Work surely kept me from writing anything....and I miss doing it!

Will post again soon after this afternoon's meeting... X3

Taken from jalovy  :

1: Anyone who looks at this entry should post this meme and their current wallpaper at their LiveJournal.
2: Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper.
3: Don't change your wallpaper before doing this. The point is to see what you had on.




I'm using this wallpie since I like the picture and words written on it. Lately I have been thinking a lot, and I think I must do something different in my life. As people said, come out from my comfort zone ~ xD
But to do that, we need courage.. And the words in this wallpie encourage me to do anything I want... Because as being stated, we will be more dissappointed by things we didn't do rather than we do.. :D

I like this meme, anyway... :D

Remember that I've posted about having a crush to someone that's married or belongs to someone? Or in this case, my project manager. Well, today, in a strange way I miss him so much. I must say that these past days I didn't meet him since he was busy with the customers (yes, those crazy customers that did the quality until midnight, ugh..). And somehow, not meeting him makes me really really curious about his condition.

Eventhough I managed to meet him in the afternoon, (again) strangely I wanted him to feel the same feeling with me. But it didn't happen of course, since he only acted like the other 'cool' guy : minor response and small smile.

Ah.

I think I am a really really selfish girl

*sad*

Darn, I'm so tired! But then again, I can't go home before I finished at least 30 or 40 % from the work. This all because of that "crazy" customer... They surely know how to make people crazy. My production and quality team are now still in production line, doing the quality check for the panels. Gah. Aren't those customers tired?? And tomorrow morning they'll still do another quality test for next switchboard.

They are surely the craziest customer I've ever seen so far.. o____O;;

Anyway, eventhough I'm extremely tired, I still can manage to continue the work, so I guess it's quite okay. But I really need to sleep for a while, really... -____-;

Ugh.

..and I'm very thankful to God cause I still have opportunity to be a better person. Yey for becoming old, eh? xD

Anyway, I was very happy yesterday since lot of people remember my birthday. Well, maybe they know because they saw the reminder in their Facebook page (duh..xD), but anyway, the important thing is that some people really care about me (err...I hope so.. :d). Thank you very much for those who messaging me very early in the morning (eventhough they probably don't even read this post). Love you all ! :D

As for the celebration, well, I'm not a party type (hmm..), so I just treat people at my department and some close friends a quite nice lunch (or maybe I think so). For special people that are closer, I treat them a dinner. And as a surprise, they gave me a surprise cake at dinner. I was happy! :D

But the most unforgetable moment was after dinner............


..........which is still considered to be posted here.

Maybe I'll tell it later.. :P

..or maybe a motorcycle....

or maybe a car.....

or maybe a bike...

Ugh.

Lately I keep thinking about resign from my job. True, I don't feel really comfortable with my activity right now. Not only too much, it's also too...what can you call it? regular? Frankly speaking, it doesn't give me the challenge as I expect. In other hand, I actually like the atmosphere around me. Lot of very nice people who care about me. I need lot of attention like that to make myself feel comfortable and feel more energized in doing everything :D

That fact surely makes difficult for me to get a decision. Currently I'm looking for another job, though. But I still have no idea what I will do if I get one. Maybe I'll let this job go if the new offer is better than this one ;D

But then again...finding a work place with nice people is not that easy... I think.

Ah. What a thought in the morning.... =(

Last night was the weirdest night I ever had. Okay, maybe not the most, but surely one of those weird nights. That makes me barely can sleep well. I kept thinking, wondering and tried to understand what had happened. In the end, I still could not really get the idea of all things had happened.

So it started when I got a call phone from new quality manager in our office last evening. He asked if I could accompany him to find a rented room around Cikarang since he lived outside Cikarang and it's tiring for him to go to work and back home every day (He lived at Bogor which is about 2 hours from my office).

Strange fact no 1
First of all, I almost never speak to him unless we're in the same meeting. And suddenly he asked me to accompany him find a rented room? Hmm....

But since I think helping another employee was not a bad thing, I agreed to help him. We went to Meadow Green, this housing complex where my rented room located. After two houses, he asked me to eat somewhere around there since he was hungry. So we ate at one and the only mall in Lippo Cikarang, and we chatted for about an hour. He told me a bit about himself and about things he loved to do to refresh his mind. He loved to go to some place cold, like mountains or hills. There's a place here called Puncak which is quite nice, and he loves to go there.

And suddenly he offers me to go there with him some day.

Strange fact no 2
I only know him for a month!!! And as I said before, I almost never speak to him. And now he asked me to go to Puncak?? Just both of us??

I said to him that the idea sounded nice, but to be honest, the thought of going there just two of us makes me uncomfortable and would think about it. He seemed okay with my statement. But somehow, when we started to talk about other things, he brought back the previous conversation about the trip plan. The MOST weird thing about the continued conversation was that, he assumed that, in the worst case could happen, we would apparently must would use ONE room together.

O_____________O

Sure, he said calmly (and maybe tried to make me calm, which I did actually, because I was so shocked and speechless) that we are adults, we went there just for refreshing, and of course, none of us thought of something with being in ONE room.

BUT STILL...
He is A GUY, and I am A WOMAN. How can he expect that we'll be okay being in the same room, while in reality I just know him for a month?

I was really shocked that I could not say anything. He then asked me to think about it and went home.

-__________________-;;

I really can't think anything about this thing. Anyone can help?

...work and work. This Gazflot project makes office become my 2nd home! I barely think anything but this project day by day. I keep dreaming about materials that are not available yet, and about those who blame me for that condition. And every morning when I wake up, first thing I have in my mind only : how is the condition or status of my materials for today?

o_______o;;

Everyone said I'm being a workaholic woman...

..am I?

... I (almost) always like the wrong people. And by wrong, it means :

1. They're married
2. They're much older than me (which actually okay for me, but somehow looks wrong from others perspective)
3. They have children (which indicates that they're married)
4. Err....They're married?
5. ............... need I say more?

Most of my friends said that it's actually a normal thing. It shows a fact that I'm actually looking for older guy which has more responsibility and patience (which make sense since I'm quite an emotional person). It also indicates that I'm looking for a mature guy, which can control his emotion, his attitude, his words and his anger well when he's beside me (somehow I think I ask a way too much from a guy... ).

But I also realized that I want someone that can manage me well with his patience. Someone with that much patience can always make me melt, and make me feel guilty when I said or did something harsh at previous time.

Sigh.

I wonder when I'll meet the right guy? *sighing even harder*

If you guess that I post this entry because now I'm facing the above problem (AGAIN), then you're right.

And for this time, it's the project manager I work with.

Ugh.

...especially pics when I went to Surabaya, but I just realized that I have lack of pics there.. T____T;;

And....somehow I can't put those pics here!!! I only managed to put two pics, and suddenly, I can't upload anything again. Sigh.

( Teh Pics.......... )
Well, two pics are better than none, right? Maybe? Or...not ~ x(

I'm still at the office, anyway. Beh.

... I really considered in looking for a job there. I mean, really, nothing can be compared to a cozy place where you lived. Eventhough I must admit Jakarta offers much much more in entertainment, jobs, salary and other lovely things, but the situation, the atmosphere, the security, and even the people are so much different with Surabaya. I like being in Surabaya, and will be very happy if I can spend my whole life there... someday, perhaps. I must have great savings to make sure I'm in secure condition when it happens.. xDD

Anyway, last week I went to Surabaya for Legislative Representative Election (called PEMILU here), and I quite enjoy it. I feel a bit regret in not spending much more time with my friends, but hey...at least I can meet them!!!! It's always fun to meet chan4yasu and q_harukichi anywhere, anytime!! :D

Since the internet connection at my office sucks, I'll upload the pictures later.. ;_____________;

Ah, I think I got a flu by today.. x(

...is awfully hurt. I could not put full concentration to my work today due to that pain. Ugh. I wish I could get rid of this pain somewhere else (where?? such an idiotic idea.. xDD;;), but of course I can't. It made me difficult to eat or even speak normally. Totally annoying. And hurt, of course.

I'm thinking to go to the dentist, but when??
My work load made me stay at the office until 7 or 8 p.m. every day.
Sigh.


T_____________________T;;

Hurts. Hurts. Hurts.

.....because at the moment I'm really sick with my work. Well, maybe not actually my work, or my job, because I kinda like what I'm doing eventhough sometimes it is darn tiring and frustating. But what I hate most (sometimes) about my work are the people around it!!! Not all of them, of course. Some of them are really helpful and always give me the best support they can give. But some of the rest are really, really annoying. I mean, REALLY annoying. Despite their intelligence and knowledge, they actually have no sense to analyze all problems that happened to our projects. They LOVE to blame someone (read : ME) without even considering that MAYBE, the root cause of those problems actually from some other place.

I was angry, insulted and really wanted to scream when for the hundred times (maybe not hundred, but who cares?), the plant manager, the production line manager and that new quality manager blamed me for inavailability materials.

HELLO?????

"Materials are not available in production line" IS not the same with "Materials not arrive yet in plant"!!!!

How many times I found problems where the production team screamed about missing materials, when in reality the materials were actually ALREADY at warehouse, and warehouse team had not supplied the materials yet to production line?????

And how many times I received another order about materials missing since production team COULD NOT FIND those darn materials even the warehouse team had supplied the materials?

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE... USE YOUR ANALYSIS FIRST BEFORE BLAMING SOMEONE, MISTERS!!!!

I can't believe they even dare to call themselves as MANAGERS when they actually CAN NOT read the real ROOT CAUSE of A PROBLEM.

...or at least I think so. As I worried earlier, the missed-material-data-input-problem happened last week was opened on last night meeting, and of course, I got the "door prize" for that : lot of comments, critics, warnings from my plant manager. Eventough I felt bad about it, and felt angry to myself, somehow I felt much better this morning. I don't know why, but I feel more calm, and somehow, I believe I can fix everything that have been messed up, either by me or my team mate.

I just hope the rest of the day will be a nice day.

Amen.

Wish me luck? *crossing finger*